Marcos Testimony

My life as an addict

Hello, my name is Marcos Scheiber, as of today I am 40 years old and I have recovered for 8 years and when I say recovered, I do not only mean that I do not use any drugs, but I have also had to put my whole life and emotional part in its place.
I remember that from a very young age I already had certain behaviours that were not entirely healthy and that I was also diagnosed with ADHD, but I am aware of this now.
The family issue was also very unstructured, and I had a childhood in which nothing was taught to me, therefore I had to take care of certain things that really did not belong to me, since I would have had to live as what I was, a child.
From a very young age, I knew that there was something wrong with my father, until I realized that my father mistreated my mother verbally and that there was always a lot of fuss at home.
Over time this became more physical, abuse towards her and towards me began and it is from then on where everything began to get fucked up, more and more.
I suppose my father decided that we would move to Austria, hoping that things would change for the better there, but it was not the case.
The mistreatment was continuous, I already knew that when he entered the door the whole story began, until I began to get in the middle of those stories with the sole intention of focusing the abuse on me, since while it was focused on me, my mother was safe, and I didn’t care if he hit me.
All this ended one day when my mother appeared with my sister under her arm and told me that she was returning to Spain, which at that time, I saw it as normal, but I did not know that this would be emotionally recorded as an abandonment.
My mother left and I stayed with my father and the story continued with me for a long time, until I went to live with my grandparents.
At the age of 8 I had my first contact with drugs, and it all started as a game between kids.
At 11 I found my father hanged in the bathroom of his house and it was honestly like a liberation, since everything was finally over.
The truth is that without being aware he had not finished anything, but on the contrary, everything began.
I also have to say that thanks to my grandfather who was the one who was always there, the one who really took care of me, and I am grateful that my sister did not have to go through any of this.
I kept using drugs when I got together with friends and at 16, I went to live in Spain with my mother.
This is where apart from the alcohol that I already consumed, I began to have contact with joints, ecstasy, LSD, speed, cocaine, heroin until I ended up smoking crack and locked in a room and my life turned only to be able to consume.
Always selling drugs to be able to consume, with problems with the authority, with other traffickers and with the buyers.
Apart from all this, I lost partners, jobs, friends, a sister, a family and most importantly, I lost myself.
Drugs take everything away from you in this life and I was a person without values, without self-esteem, without knowing myself, without health, without having anything defined in my life, broken into a thousand pieces, with several overdoses, etc.
I tried various treatments, but I only did it to shut up my mouths in my environment, until I was “forced” by the family to enter a centre.
The truth is that I did not intend at any time to stop using and I was already thinking about what I was going to roll when they released me from the centre.
In the centre, I had it tied up in such a way that they expelled me twice and, in the end, I had to do things as they were asked of me, if I really wanted to get out of that prison without bars that are drugs. The treatment is very hard and that you must relearn to walk through life without drugs and to move in a different way.
Therefore, if I count the years that happened to me like this, they give me as many as about 25.
As of today, everything I lost due to drugs, I have recovered it again and they have not changed, but me.
I also have the emotional issue on its site and everything that happened in my childhood forgiven, since I understand it in a different way and therefore, I do not have any single reason or excuse to consume any drug.
I have a life of the most normal that can be had since, I choose at all times what I want to do, and I have still had time to study and today I am practicing as a therapist in drug addiction, childhood problems and with several projects to carry out.
I know what I’m saying sounds bad, but thanks to all those kilos of drugs that I used, to this day I am who I am.
Always remember that what begins as a game does not end as a game and do not give your lives to drugs.

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