My name is Mayra Fernández, I am 36 years old, and I have recovered for 4 years
From this learning, which is what I call the “blessed recovery” today, I am a new person, with a dignified life, completely normalized and with many projects and illusions ahead, always that yes, being aware that my illness will be with me the rest of my life and I must never lose respect for drugs.
From a very young age, I remember my mother saying that I was a special girl, very sensitive and different from the rest of my friends at school. Now I know that I was always like this, and already met many conditions to develop an addiction in adolescence.
My first consumptions started when I was 14 years old, alcohol, a little joint from time to time, I thought that was normal.
I always liked going with older people, at 15 my group of friends were all 5 and 10 years older than me. They had been using all kinds of drugs for years and that’s when I started trying them; pills, amphetamines, speed, cocaine, joints, lsd …
That was the starting gun. I was a very insecure girl, with low self-esteem, full of complexes, vulnerable, easy to manipulate and lack of affection.
An adolescent who only wanted to have fun and feel happy even though she for a little while and the drug managed to give me that false happiness and that false security that I so longed for.
At 19 I asked my parents for help for the first time, it was after getting a line in front of my little brother. That is an image I will never forget, his disconcerted face and the feeling that I had failed and disappointed him, was something that weighed on my conscience for a long time.
My parents decided to put land in the middle and they sent me 600 kilometres from home, with the bad luck that I fell into the home of an alcoholic and gambling woman, so the remedy was worse than the disease.
I managed to stop using drugs, but there I lost the only friend I had in a motorcycle accident, I was only 18 years old and that day I had to return with him on the motorcycle, coincidences of life, I left earlier. That’s when I broke down, I felt alone and abandoned, with no one to count on and this triggered a long and arduous process of eating disorders and self-destruction.
After years of struggle, centres, psychiatrists, moving from city to city seeking to get away from everything and everyone, thinking that starting from scratch I would solve what was happening to me and destroying family, friends and couples, I finally recognized that I had a problem, that I was addicted.
At the age of 32, I had a quite scandalous episode of gender violence and that was what pushed me to make the decision to seek help and get out of the miserable and sick life that I led, I could not stop using from the moment I woke up until I was dropping dead, it was a horrible feeling.
So, I decided to enter a centre and start treatment. And honestly, the beginnings are not easy at all, but if you let yourself go and go hand in hand with professionals who have gone through the same thing, the result after a while is worth it and a lot.
Today, I continue to learn every day, from everything, from everyone and growing as a person and emotionally from joy, with a positive attitude and always ready to listen to evolve. Because this does not stop, and it is wonderful to see how we are changing and recovering everything that we had destroyed.
Because you get out of the drug.